How to Build a Village That Actually Supports You as a Solo Mum
Your village can come in many different forms, what matters is that it makes you feel safe and supported, however that looks for you.
If there’s one thing solo mums hear all the time, it’s this:
“You’ll need a really good village.”
And while that’s true, it’s also wildly unhelpful if no one explains what that actually looks like — or how to build one that genuinely supports you.
Because a village isn’t just people around you.
It’s people who show up in ways that actually make life easier.
Whether you’re pregnant, newly navigating solo motherhood, or a few years in and feeling the cracks, building the right kind of support can change everything.
Why “having people” isn’t the same as being supported
Many solo mums technically have people in their lives — family, friends, colleagues — and still feel like they’re doing everything alone.
That’s because support isn’t about proximity.
It’s about reliability, safety, and fit.
A supportive village:
reduces your mental load
respects your boundaries
understands your family structure
shows up consistently (not just when it’s convenient)
And importantly, it doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.
Step 1: Redefine what a “village” actually means
Your village doesn’t need to be:
big
local
traditional
family-based
It does need to be intentional.
A village might include:
one friend who can do emergency pickups
another who offers emotional support
a paid professional (childcare, cleaner, doula, therapist)
an online community who get it
one neighbour you trust
No one person needs to do everything.
That’s the point.
Step 2: Separate “safe people” from “social people”
This is a big one.
Not everyone who is friendly or well-meaning is a safe support person.
Ask yourself:
Can I ask this person for help without feeling guilty?
Do they respect my boundaries?
Do they understand (or at least respect) solo motherhood?
Do they add calm or pressure when I’m overwhelmed?
Your village should feel grounding — not performative.
Step 3: Let go of the idea that you have to do it all unpaid
Support doesn’t have to be free to be valid.
Paid support is still support — and for many solo mums, it’s the difference between surviving and actually enjoying motherhood.
This might look like:
childcare help
a cleaner
meal support
a doula or student midwife
paid community spaces or memberships
Outsourcing is not a failure; it’s a strategy.
Step 4: Build support before you desperately need it
The hardest time to build a village is when you’re already exhausted.
Support works best when:
expectations are clear
relationships aren’t formed in crisis
help is mutual or understood
Start small. One conversation. One connection. One safe person.
Villages are built over time — not overnight.
Step 5: Find people who truly get your stage of life
Support feels different depending on where you’re at.
Pregnancy, newborn life, early parenting, and established solo motherhood all come with unique needs.
Being in spaces with women at a similar stage can be deeply reassuring — not because you need advice, but because you don’t have to explain yourself.
That sense of “I’m not the only one doing this” matters more than most people realise.
You don’t need a perfect village — just the right one
A good village won’t fix everything.
But it will:
lighten the load
remind you you’re not alone
help you feel steadier and more supported
And that changes how motherhood feels — day to day.
If you’re pregnant or trying to conceive solo and want structured, genuine support alongside other women walking this path, The Bump Membership was created for exactly this stage — connection, support, and community without pressure.
Because doing motherhood solo doesn’t mean doing it alone.