How to handle awkward questions & tricky conversations at Christmas (without losing your mind)
The Christmas dinner time is the perfect place for Aunt Madge to ask her awkward questions after a few too many champagnes - eek!
There’s something about Christmas that brings out the very worst conversational choices in people.
Maybe it’s the wine.
Maybe it’s the festive chaos.
Maybe it’s just Aunt Marge after her second champagne.
Either way, if you’re a solo mum — or thinking about becoming one — you’ve probably already braced yourself for at least one of the classics:
“So… are you seeing anyone yet?”
“When are you giving your child a sibling?”
“Why don’t you just try online dating?”
“Who’s the father?”
“Are you sure you want to do this on your own?”
“You’re not getting any younger…”
“I just worry about the child.”
Or the all-time winner: “You’re still so young, why don’t you want to wait for a partner?”
Deep breath.
You’re not alone.
And you can absolutely get through Christmas without flipping a table.
Here’s how.
1. Prepare your “polite-but-firm” responses
Think of these as your Christmas scripts — the statements that allow you to stay grounded, confident, and in control of the conversation.
For dating questions: “Dating isn’t my priority right now — I’m really happy with the life I’m building.”
For fertility / TTC questions: “I’m focusing on my journey privately at the moment, but thank you for thinking of me.”
For donor conception questions: “That’s something I’m keeping private at this stage. Let’s focus on Christmas, shall we?”
For people who push: “It’d be great if we could talk about something else — what’s been the highlight of your year?” (Turn. That. Conversation. Around.)
2. Use humour to shut things down fast
A well-timed joke can work miracles.
When someone asks, “So… any man on the horizon?” - “Honestly? I’ve got better luck finding a car park at Chadstone in December.”
When they say, “When are you giving your child a sibling?” - “When I win the lotto and grow four extra arms.”
When you get the classic, “But kids need a dad…” - “The research is showing that for kids to thrive, they need one stable, loving, emotionally available parent. The gender doesn’t actually make a difference, and having a dad doesn’t guarantee a child will be brought up to be open-minded or know not to ask rude questions, does it? ”
Humour lets you stay light while keeping your boundaries.
3. Change the topic like a pro
Master the festive deflection:
“Oh look, the pavlova is out — excuse me one minute.”
“Speaking of families… have you seen the new Myer windows this year?”
“Anyway! Tell me about your holiday plans.”
You do not need to justify your life choices to anyone.
4. Have a supportive person on standby
If you’re attending a family event solo, pre-select someone who can:
Change the topic
Jump into the conversation
Pull you away when needed
Or literally rescue you with, “Hey, can you help me in the kitchen?”
It makes a world of difference.
5. Give yourself permission to leave early
If the comments get too much, you don’t owe anyone a long explanation.
You can simply say: “Thanks for having me — I’m heading home now.”
Protecting your peace is more important than staying to be polite.
6. Set boundaries before you arrive
If you know family can be particularly opinionated, you can preempt things.
A gentle text might look like: “Really excited to see everyone. Just a heads up — I’d prefer not to talk about dating, fertility or my plans at the moment. Looking forward to a chilled, fun day together.”
Clear, kind, effective.
7. Remember this: people often speak from their own discomfort
Most awkward comments aren’t actually about you.
They come from:
Outdated beliefs
Projection
Ignorance
Fear
Curiosity delivered badly
Or zero awareness of how their words land
Your life, your family, your timeline — none of this needs to fit anyone else’s expectations.
You’re allowed to protect yourself.
You’re allowed to change the subject.
You’re allowed to shut it down.
You’re allowed to feel proud of the path you’re choosing.
Final thoughts
Christmas conversations can be chaotic — and sometimes wildly inappropriate — but you are strong, clear, grounded and capable.
You don’t need to justify your choices.
You don’t need to educate anyone.
You don’t need to be endlessly patient.
You just need to honour yourself, your boundaries and your family story — exactly as it is.
And if you need a supportive place to land this festive season, the Solo Mum Society community, including the Bump support community is here for you.
Wishing you a fabulous festive season x