Five questions to ask yourself before the new year
The festive season is the perfect time to reflect and decide what you want more and less of in the new year.
There’s something about the week between Christmas and New Year that feels suspended in time.
The world slows down.
Your calendar goes quiet.
The noise softens just enough for your own thoughts to surface again.
It’s often the only moment all year where you’re not being pulled forward by urgency or backward by reflection — you’re just here. And that makes it the perfect time to pause.
Not to judge yourself.
Not to set resolutions you’ll abandon by February.
And definitely not to “fix” anything.
Just to check in.
Because whether you’re already deep in solo motherhood, pregnant and preparing, trying to conceive, quietly considering having a baby on your own, or simply craving more clarity and ease in your life — this moment belongs to you.
These five questions aren’t about pressure or performance.
They’re about reconnecting with yourself before the year turns.
Make a cup of tea.
Open your notes app or a journal.
Take your time.
1. What genuinely felt good for me this year?
Start here — with what lifted you.
Not what you should feel grateful for, but what actually brought lightness, relief, joy or pride.
Maybe it was:
A decision that took courage.
A moment in motherhood where you thought, I’m doing okay.
Finding even one person who truly gets it.
Gaining clarity about wanting a baby.
Prioritising something just for you.
Or feeling seen, supported, or calmer than usual.
These moments aren’t just memories.
They’re clues.
Whatever felt good this year is pointing you toward what you need more of.
2. What felt heavy, draining, or no longer like me?
This isn’t about criticism.
It’s about awareness.
Where did you feel stretched too thin?
Stuck in old patterns?
Carrying expectations that weren’t yours?
Disconnected from yourself?
Overwhelmed by the mental load of doing everything alone?
Naming what feels heavy doesn’t make you negative.
It creates clarity.
And clarity creates choice.
3. What do I want more of next year?
Not goals.
Not resolutions.
Just desires.
More ease.
More joy.
More fun.
More rest.
More confidence.
More support.
More connection — with yourself and others.
Or maybe:
More courage to pursue motherhood on your terms.
More clarity about who you are beyond your roles.
More space to enjoy your life instead of just managing it.
Write whatever comes up. Don’t overthink it.
4. What do I want less of?
This question is often the most powerful.
Less rushing.
Less apologising.
Less waiting for the “right” time.
Less comparison.
Less people-pleasing.
Less pressure to do everything perfectly.Less carrying everything on your own.
Let this be the year you release what no longer fits.
5. What’s one gentle, brave step I could take in January?
Just one.
Not a full transformation.
Not a reinvention.
Not a ten-point plan.
One small step that feels grounded and meaningful.
It might be:
Carving out time to reconnect with yourself.
Prioritising your health.
Setting a boundary that protects your energy.
Letting go of a belief that’s been quietly weighing you down.
Booking an appointment to understand your fertility options.
Learning what you need to make an informed decision about solo motherhood.
Or simply saying, I’m ready to make this year feel different.
You don’t need everything figured out.
You just need to begin.
If these questions stirred something…
Sometimes reflection brings relief.
Sometimes it brings emotion.
And sometimes it brings awareness of patterns you didn’t even realise were shaping your life.
If that’s the case, and you’d like a gentle next step, I’ve created a workbook called Becoming a Good Mum.
It’s not about doing more or being better.
It’s about noticing the invisible rules you may be living by — the beliefs about what a “good mum” should be — and deciding which ones you actually want to keep.
You can download it here and explore it in your own time, at your own pace.
(This is completely optional — take it only if it feels supportive for you.)
Final thoughts
You don’t need to start the new year perfect.
You don’t need a colour-coded plan.
And you don’t need to have it all sorted out.
You just need to start connected to yourself.
These five questions are an invitation to slow down, reflect, and realign before the year turns.
And if the year ahead is calling you toward:
motherhood
deeper joy and presence
clarity about who you are
or a life that feels lighter and more intentional
You don’t have to navigate it alone.
Something new is coming soon — The Butterfly Blueprint, a 12-week journey designed to help you gain clarity, release what’s holding you back, and create a life that feels aligned and fulfilling.
But for now, this moment is enough.
A pause.
A breath.
And a quiet reminder that you’re allowed to choose a year that feels like growth — not just survival.