How to Choose the Right Donor

Choosing a donor can feel like something you should be able to figure out quickly.

But once you start looking into it… it rarely feels simple.

You might be wondering:

“Should I ask someone I know?”
“Is a clinic donor the safest option?”
“What does it actually mean to use someone I meet online?”

And suddenly, what felt like a practical step…
starts to feel like a much bigger decision.

This guide will help you slow things down and think it through properly —
so you can choose a path that feels right not just now, but long-term.

This guide is for you if…

• you’re unsure which type of donor you should choose

• you’ve started researching but feel more confused than clear

• you’re going back and forth between different options

• you want to understand what actually matters beyond just getting pregnant

• you don’t want to rush a decision you’ll have to explain later

There is no one “right” option. Only the option that feels right for you — once you understand it properly.

What this guide will help you do

Inside the guide you’ll:

• understand the differences between known, clinic, and recruited donors

• explore the real trade-offs of each option (not just surface-level pros and cons)

• learn what most women don’t realise until later

• think about the long-term implications — not just the immediate process

• start identifying which option feels most aligned for you

It’s practical, balanced, and designed to help you move forward with clarity — not overwhelm.

Why this decision matters

This isn’t just about how you get pregnant.

It shapes:

• what your child knows about where they came from

• what questions may come up later

• what connections or relationships may (or may not) exist

And that’s why this decision can feel heavier than expected.

The goal isn’t to choose perfectly. It’s to choose something you feel calm, clear, and confident explaining to your child one day.

About the author

This guide was created by Alisha Burns, founder of Solo Mum Society and host of the No Need for Prince Charming podcast.

After a 12-year journey through infertility, loss, and fertility treatment, Alisha had her daughter just weeks before her 40th birthday.

During that journey, she realised something important:

While there’s a lot of medical information available… there’s very little support around how to actually make the decisions along the way.

Especially when you’re doing it on your own.

Through Solo Mum Society, she now supports women at every stage — from considering solo motherhood through to pregnancy and raising donor-conceived children.