Choosing a Birth Partner as a Solo Mum
How to decide who should be with you during labour — or whether you want anyone there at all.
You don’t need a partner to have a supported birth. But you do deserve support that feels safe, calm, and right for you.
If you’re pregnant as a solo mum (or preparing to be), chances are you’ve already been asked:
“Who’s going to be with you?”
“Won’t you need someone?”
“I could be there if you want…”
And suddenly, a deeply personal decision starts to feel complicated.
This guide will help you slow things down and choose intentionally — whether that means asking someone, hiring someone, or deciding to birth without a support person at all.
This guide is for you if…
you’re unsure who should be with you during birth
people are offering themselves and you don’t know how to respond
you’re worried about choosing the “wrong” person
you’re considering a doula, student midwife, or other support
you want clarity — not pressure — around this decision
There is no one “right” choice. Only the choice that feels right for you.
What this guide will help you do
Inside the guide you’ll learn:
the different birth support options available to solo mums
how to decide whether you want someone present — or not
emotional considerations like safety, calm, and boundaries
practical considerations like reliability, advocacy, and logistics
how to recognise when someone means well but isn’t the right fit
It’s thoughtful, grounded, and designed to help you feel confident — not overwhelmed.
Why this decision matters
Birth is not a performance.
It’s not a social event.
And it’s not the time to manage other people’s emotions.
The right support can help you feel calm, held, and empowered.
The wrong support can leave you feeling tense, watched, or emotionally responsible for someone else.
This guide helps you choose from clarity — not obligation.
About the author
This guide was created by Alisha Burns, founder of Solo Mum Society and host of the No Need for Prince Charming podcast.
After navigating infertility, donor conception, pregnancy, and solo motherhood herself, Alisha created Solo Mum Society to support women through every stage of the journey — from considering solo motherhood to pregnancy and raising donor-conceived children.