Choosing a Birth Partner as a Solo Mum

You don’t need a partner to have a supported birth. But you do deserve support that feels safe, calm, and right for you.

If you’re pregnant as a solo mum (or preparing to be), chances are you’ve already been asked:

“Who’s going to be with you?”
“Won’t you need someone?”
“I could be there if you want…”

And suddenly, a deeply personal decision starts to feel complicated.

This guide will help you slow things down and choose intentionally — whether that means asking someone, hiring someone, or deciding to birth without a support person at all.

This guide is for you if…

• you’re unsure who should be with you during birth

• people are offering themselves and you don’t know how to respond

• you’re worried about choosing the “wrong” person

• you’re considering a doula, student midwife, or other support

• you want clarity — not pressure — around this decision

There is no one “right” choice. Only the choice that feels right for you.

What this guide will help you do

Inside the guide you’ll learn:

• the different birth support options available to solo mums

• how to decide whether you want someone present — or not

• emotional considerations like safety, calm, and boundaries

• practical considerations like reliability, advocacy, and logistics

• how to recognise when someone means well but isn’t the right fit

• what to do if there's a complication or your baby needs NICU care

• reflection exercises and a preparation checklist, so you walk away with a plan — not just information

It’s thoughtful, grounded, and designed to help you feel confident — not overwhelmed.

Why this decision matters

Birth is not a performance.

It’s not a social event.

And it’s not the time to manage other people’s emotions.

The right support can help you feel calm, held, and empowered.

The wrong support can leave you feeling tense, watched, or emotionally responsible for someone else.

This guide helps you choose from clarity — not obligation.

Wherever you are in the journey, there's support waiting on the other side of this guide too — from The Bump Membership to Preparing for Solo Motherhood.

About the author

This guide was created by Alisha Burns, founder of Solo Mum Society and host of the No Need for Prince Charming podcast.

After navigating infertility, donor conception, pregnancy, and solo motherhood herself, Alisha created Solo Mum Society to support women through every stage of the journey — from considering solo motherhood to pregnancy and raising donor-conceived children.