S5:E34 - Surrogacy in Australia for Solo Mums - with Sarah Jefford, Family Creation Lawyer
Surrogacy is legal in Australia. Most people don’t know that.
This week I’m joined by Sarah Jefford — family creation lawyer, egg donor, and surrogate — who has spent the last decade working exclusively in family creation law. No divorces, no custody battles. Just helping people build their families in all the different ways that looks like today. She’s based in Melbourne, works nationally, and has both donated her eggs and carried a baby as a surrogate for a gay couple she met through Facebook.
This episode is for any solo mum who has been on a long fertility journey and is now wondering whether surrogacy is the next option — or for anyone who has thought about being a surrogate themselves.
Sarah explains how surrogacy actually works in Australia, why it’s so hard to find a surrogate, what you can and can’t legally pay for, how the legal process after birth works (and why it’s more complicated than it sounds), and how to share your story online without falling foul of the no-advertising laws. She also covers overseas surrogacy — including which states make it illegal for their residents to pursue it commercially overseas, and what happens when you bring a baby back to Australia.
The numbers are sobering: fewer than 100 surrogacy births happen in Australia each year. Over 350 Australian children are born via international surrogacy annually. The laws haven’t kept pace with how people actually find each other — which is Facebook — and there are no agencies to help match surrogates with intended parents.
But it does happen. Regularly. And the advice from someone who has done it — both as a surrogate and as a lawyer — is simply: build community, share your story, make connections. Your surrogate might already be in your orbit.
In this episode:
How Sarah went from divorce law to family creation law — via IVF, egg donation, and surrogacy
What gestational surrogacy (using a donor egg and embryo) versus traditional surrogacy (surrogate’s own egg) actually means
Why altruistic surrogacy laws limit the number of women willing to put their hands up — and what intended parents can legally cover
Lost income, medical expenses, maternity clothing, acupuncture, lawn mowing — what expenses are covered and what aren’t
The post-birth legal process: parentage orders, birth certificates, and what it means that the surrogate is always initially the legal parent
State by state: why Victorian surrogacy must occur in a Victorian clinic, why Tasmania requires a Tasmanian surrogate, and why national laws are long overdue
The advertising prohibition — and how to share your story without technically advertising
Overseas surrogacy: which states prohibit their residents from commercial surrogacy overseas, and the complexity of bringing a baby home
How to find a surrogate: Facebook communities, state-based groups, your beautician
What the Big Conversations list is and why intended parents and surrogates need to work through it before they begin
Pregnancy termination, vaccination, circumcision, home birth — the conversations that need to happen before conception
Centrelink and paid parental leave for both surrogates and intended parents
What it was actually like for Sarah to carry a baby for someone else, and what she’d say to someone thinking about doing the same
Resources:
Key Takeaways
Surrogacy is legal in Australia — but finding a surrogate is genuinely difficult, and most are found through social media or existing relationships
You cannot advertise for a surrogate, but you can share your story — there is an important distinction
What intended parents can cover: medical expenses, counselling, legal fees, lost income, maternity clothing, pregnancy-related allied health, domestic help. What they can’t cover: a profit or payment above actual expenses
The surrogate is the legal parent until a parentage order is granted by a state court — this applies even in gestational surrogacy where she has no genetic connection to the baby
Each state has different laws — Victoria, Tasmania, and WA have specific restrictions that affect intended parents in those states
NSW, Queensland, and ACT residents are technically breaking the law if they pursue commercial surrogacy overseas
The counselling is not an assessment of your worthiness — it’s preparation for what could go wrong, and it’s genuinely useful
Talk through the hard scenarios before you begin: miscarriage, pregnancy complications, termination, what happens if the relationship breaks down
Build the surrogacy community broadly — not just in surrogacy-specific groups. Your best connection might come from somewhere you didn’t expect
Over 350 Australian children are born via international surrogacy each year — the laws have not kept pace with reality
This episode is brought to you by City Fertility
Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.
Still considering whether this path is right for you?
The Considering Solo Motherhood course helps you make an informed, empowered decision — and understand what the process actually looks like before you start. Live or on demand, from anywhere in the world. Learn more here.
