S5:E23 - Choosing Rose with Beth Sadowsky

4 Aug

Every donor-conceived child from an SMBC will ask it eventually. Mummy, why don't I have a daddy?

Most of us lie awake at some point worrying about how to answer it. What words do we use? How much do we say? What if we get it wrong?

This week I'm joined by Beth Sadowsky — solo mum by choice, life coach, and author of Choosing Rose, a children's picture book written specifically for SMBC families. Beth is based in Florida, USA, and her daughter Lily is 7. The book started as a letter Beth wrote to Lily while she was still pregnant — a way to prepare for the conversation she knew was coming — and it became a beautifully illustrated picture book that leans into the question rather than avoiding it.

Choosing Rose isn't a biology lesson. It doesn't explain what sperm is or how IVF works. It's a story — warm enough for bedtime and honest enough to open a real conversation. The kind of book you can hand your child and read together, and the words come naturally because the story does the work.

We talk about how the book came to be, what Lily thought when she first heard it read to her, how Beth handled the moment at school when Lily said I wish I had a daddy at a table full of dads, and why Beth believes the question isn't something to dread — it's one of the most beautiful opportunities we have as solo mums.

This episode is for any solo mum who hasn't quite worked out how to start this conversation yet. Or who's been putting it off. Or who picked up the book and burst into tears before they even got to page three.

You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to begin.

Choosing Rose is available on Amazon, including Amazon Australia. Search: Choosing Rose Beth Sadowsky.

In this episode:

What inspired Beth to write Choosing Rose — and why it started as a letter, not a book
The gap in children's books for SMBC families — what exists, what doesn't, and why it matters
Why Beth deliberately kept the book free of biological detail — and what that makes possible
How Lily reacted when Beth first read it to her at age 2 — and what she thinks now at 7
The moment at a school event when Lily said "I wish I had a daddy" — and how Beth handled it without making it a big deal
Why "I wish I had a daddy" almost never means what we think it means — and what to do instead of panicking
The difference between the question being about absence vs. the question being about curiosity
How to use Choosing Rose at school to help classmates and teachers understand your family
Beth's advice for any solo mum who wants to write their own book — three things she'd tell anyone starting out
Why Father's Day is actually a perfect moment to open this conversation

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility

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