Fiona O’Neil is a fertility and workplace coach, founder of The Fertility Framework, and the kind of person you want in your corner when your boss has no idea what IVF actually involves.
A note before we begin: this episode touches on pregnancy loss — including recurrent loss and late loss — experienced by both Alisha and her guest. As always on this podcast, we share these things honestly and without drama. If you’re in a tender place today, please be kind to yourself as you listen.
Nobody prepares you for the collision between fertility treatment and your working life. Not your clinic. Not your HR department. Certainly not the two-day bereavement leave entitlement Australia currently offers for pregnancy loss.
Fiona O’Neil has lived the long version of this — fifteen years, 21 embryo transfers, every form of donor conception, two anonymous egg donation trips to South Africa, and a late endometriosis and adenomyosis diagnosis that reframed everything. She became a mum through embryo donation; her son is now eleven. And out of all of it, she built The Fertility Framework: a one-on-one coaching and workplace training practice helping people navigate fertility treatment without having to choose between it and their career.
In this episode, Alisha and Fiona cover the practical ground that rarely gets spoken about — when and how to tell your manager, what you are and aren’t required to disclose, how to manage the unpredictability of a treatment cycle, what good support from a workplace actually looks like after a failed cycle or pregnancy loss, and the specific pressures that fall on solo mums who are funding treatment themselves. Alisha shares some of her own experience too — including what it was like to go back to work after her son’s stillbirth, and what helped people around her find the right words.
This is a practical episode. It will change how you think about the conversation you’ve been dreading.
In this episode:
What to put in place before your first cycle — treatment schedule, workplace leave policies, and why you need a “warm person” in your corner before you need them
Whether to tell your manager — the real pros and cons, and why the calculus is different for solo mums who are funding treatment alone
How much to actually disclose — why “egg freezing” might serve you better than “IVF,” and why disclosure doesn’t have to be all or nothing
What a good manager conversation looks like — come with a plan, specific dates, a backup for important meetings, and always follow up in writing
Managing the unpredictability of a cycle — how to identify your high-stakes commitments in advance and build an agreement your team can actually work with
Long-term exhaustion — when to reassess, when to change your specialist, when to change your treatment plan, and when permission to stop is the most important thing you can give yourself
What workplaces get wrong after failed cycles and pregnancy loss — why there’s no expiry on support, and what to actually say to someone who is grieving
Australia’s two-day bereavement leave entitlement for pregnancy loss — what it means, and why it’s not enough
Specific advice for solo mums: who drives you home after retrieval, how to compare clinics on cost (not just success rates), and why choosing to do this solo doesn’t mean you have to do everything solo
What Fiona’s one-on-one coaching looks like — prep before appointments, debrief after, advocate in the room, available nationally via Zoom
Alisha on going back to work after her son’s stillbirth — and how inviting her colleagues to the wake gave them a language they didn’t have
Key Takeaways:
The only information you need to give your manager relates to how you’re going to continue doing your job successfully during treatment — nothing more is required
Disclosure doesn’t have to be all or nothing — “egg freezing” is a legitimate and accurate framing that protects you from the “mummy track” assumption
Always follow up a disclosure conversation in writing — a quick email confirming what was agreed protects you if circumstances or managers change
Agree upfront which commitments are genuinely unmovable, and build a clear communication process for the unpredictable days — your team needs a plan, not an apology
One in four people is experiencing pregnancy loss. The colleagues around you need to know what to say, and “what would best support you right now?” is always the right starting question
When all else fails, pretend you’re your best friend — the advice you’d give her is almost always better than what you’re giving yourself
Choosing to be a solo mum is a very empowering decision. It doesn’t mean you have to do everything solo — especially the practical bits like who drives you home after retrieval
The goal is to feel like you’re in control — regularly reassessing what’s working and what isn’t is how you stay there
Resources mentioned:
The Fertility Framework — Fiona O’Neil’s one-on-one fertility and workplace coaching, available nationally via Zoom: thefertilityframework.com.au (confirm URL with Fiona before publishing)
Workplace training: Fiona’s sister is a psychotherapist within The Fertility Framework — they offer fertility-aware leadership training, language and culture sessions, and workplace policy review
The Bump Membership — Solo Mum Society’s membership for women who are TTC or pregnant solo: solomumsociety.com/the-bump
This episode is brought to you by City Fertility
Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.
Currently TTC or pregnant solo?
The Bump Membership is built for exactly where you are right now — community, support, and information for women navigating the TTC and pregnancy journey without a partner. Find out more.
