S5:E9 | Michelle & Vayda-Rae — The Long Wait, the Leap & Life on the Other Side

Michelle always knew she wanted to be a mum. What she didn't know was that the path to getting there would involve a two and a half year wait just to choose a donor.

She made her first appointment at Fertility Associates in New Zealand in 2014 at the age of 34, was told there were five donor profiles to choose from, and was promptly put on a waitlist. She spent the next two and a half years living in parallel — open to meeting someone, but keeping her eye firmly on this path. When the call finally came in 2016, she sat down with her five profiles, eliminated three for minor medical reasons and two for wanting more contact than she was comfortable with, and chose the tallest one. Vayda-Rae was born after four IUI cycles — a chemical pregnancy, a negative, an overstimulated cancelled cycle, and then a successful fourth round at 37 — partly funded by her parents.

Solo Mum by choice from the start: Nicola & Luca

Most women who come to solo motherhood have a moment — a relationship that ended, a birthday that passed, a realisation that waiting wasn't working. Nicola never had that moment. She just always knew.

From the time she was young, she never pictured a partner. She pictured kids. Solo motherhood wasn't a plan B for Nicola — it was the only plan. And what makes her story so valuable for this community is that the hard parts she navigated weren't about the decision itself. They were about trusting herself enough to actually go through with it.

From Chronic Illness to Solo Mum: Nelly’s Long Road to Violet

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussion of miscarriage, fertility challenges, and medical complications during pregnancy.

Season 5 continues with Nelly’s story — one of resilience, persistence, and navigating an incredibly complex path to motherhood.

Nelly didn’t grow up assuming she would have children. With a history of renal failure, transplants, and years of medical treatment, motherhood didn’t feel like a given.

But over time, that quiet desire became impossible to ignore.

Season 5 continues with Megan’s story — and her journey to becoming a solo mum by choice.

In this episode, Megan shares how she approached this decision step by step instead of focusing on the end result, and how that made the process feel more manageable.

In this episode, she talks about:

• Listening to other solo mums and how that helped her feel less alone

• Taking the process step by step instead of focusing on the end result

• Known donor conversations and why facilitated conversations are important

• Adjusting her relationship with work after becoming a mum

• Living with her mum and raising her son together

• Trusting that you will figure out parenting as you go

This conversation is thoughtful, calm, and very reassuring for anyone who feels overwhelmed by the idea of making such a big decision.

If the idea of solo motherhood feels too big to think about all at once, this episode is a really comforting reminder that you don’t have to make every decision today — you can just take the next step.

Season 5 continues with Jane’s story — and this is a story that will stay with you.

Jane always knew she wanted to be a mum, but after years of dating and never finding the right partner, she made the decision at 35 to pursue solo motherhood. What followed was a long IVF journey, big financial decisions, and learning to back herself even when the path felt uncertain.

When Jane finally fell pregnant, she received a surprise she never expected — identical twins.

But her pregnancy quickly became high-risk, and what followed was a rollercoaster of fear, resilience, impossible decisions, and navigating motherhood before her babies had even arrived.

Season 5 continues with Hayley’s story — one that will resonate with so many women sitting in the “I know I want a baby… but when?” stage.

Hayley didn’t wake up one day suddenly certain. Instead, her journey was gradual. Thoughtful. Honest.

In this episode, she shares:

• When she realised motherhood wasn’t something she wanted to gamble on

• The internal shift from “maybe later” to “now”

• Navigating the donor process

• The emotional reality of doing this without a partner

• What surprised her most about stepping into solo motherhood

This conversation isn’t dramatic. It’s grounded. Calm. Clear.

And that’s exactly what makes it powerful.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between waiting and moving forward, this episode will feel like someone gently holding up a mirror.

Solo Motherhood at 29, IVF in the USA & Raising a Donor-Conceived Child

Rhiannon didn’t spend years planning to become a solo mum. In fact, for most of her twenties she wasn’t even sure she wanted children at all.

Then one night she had a vivid dream about a baby girl named Beatrix — and the feeling never left. At 29, she decided to pursue motherhood on her own terms, travelling to the United States for IVF and gender selection. She became pregnant on her first embryo transfer and later welcomed her daughter Bunny during the COVID lockdowns.

In this episode, Rhiannon shares the surprising twists of her journey — from choosing treatment overseas, to navigating pregnancy during a global pandemic, to connecting with donor siblings across the world. She also reflects on the unexpected personal growth that came with becoming a parent, including receiving a later-in-life diagnosis of ADHD and autism.

Rhiannon’s story is funny, honest, and refreshingly real. It’s a reminder that motherhood doesn’t always arrive through the path we imagined — but sometimes the unexpected road leads exactly where we were meant to go.

Carly always knew motherhood was non-negotiable. Marriage? Optional. A partner? Nice, but not essential. But children? Absolutely.

After a serious car accident in 2020 forced her to stop and re-evaluate everything, Carly realised she couldn’t keep waiting for “someday.” What followed was a journey through public hospital waitlists, donor shortages, IUI disappointment, IVF pressure, and the emotional intensity of choosing a donor in a system where options are limited and timing is everything.

From IVF Loss to Solo Motherhood: Bec’s Honest Journey to Becoming Liam’s Mum

Season 5 begins with one of the most raw and honest conversations yet.

In this first episode of the new season, Alisha sits down with Bec, who never imagined becoming a solo mum — until fertility timelines, life circumstances, and a quiet realisation changed everything.

Bec shares how a routine fertility check planted the seed that ultimately led her toward donor conception, and the emotional process of choosing motherhood without waiting for the “right” partner.

But this story doesn’t stop at pregnancy success.

Bec opens up about:

• navigating IVF and miscarriage

• the emotional complexity of pregnancy after loss

• an unexpected early birth and emergency caesarean

• the realities of newborn life as a solo parent

• postnatal depression and the bond that took time to grow

• learning to ask for help — and why no one should do this alone

This episode is honest, grounding, and deeply reassuring for anyone wondering whether solo motherhood is possible — or what life actually looks like on the other side.

Season 5 begins with a reminder that there is no single way to become a mother — and no single way to feel once you arrive there.

Laura never expected to walk the path of solo motherhood. After the heartbreaking loss of her daughter Emilia due to a chromosomal abnormality, she found herself navigating grief, timelines, donor selection and the pressure of changing legislation around donor sperm.

In this episode, Laura shares how she moved from devastation to determination — pushing through delays, unexpected clinic issues, multiple rounds of IVF, genetic testing, and intense time pressure due to new donor-family limits coming into effect.

She also describes the powerful signs she felt from her daughter Emilia throughout the process, including how the start and end of her IVF cycle aligned with the anniversaries of Emilia’s due date and her father’s passing — and the moment the name “Celeste” arrived unexpectedly, long before she had even confirmed she was pregnant.

It's a deeply emotional, insightful conversation about loss, intuition, timing, and choosing yourself even when the path is nothing like you imagined.

Kristi didn’t follow a traditional path to motherhood. After leaving a lrelationship, rebuilding her mental health and reaching 40 believing she had missed her window, she eventually found the courage — and the right medical support team — to pursue solo motherhood.

In this powerful and vulnerable episode, Kristi shares her experience with depression, the fear of postpartum relapse, and the detailed medical advice she received to continue her mental health medications safely through conception, pregnancy and breastfeeding.

She also opens up about using an overseas donor, how she first located donor siblings, and her evolving views on DNA, family, and chosen connections. Later in the episode, Kristi talks through her shocking diagnosis of multiple brain tumours, how she prepared Imogen for the return of chemotherapy, and why her daughter's resilience and creativity continue to anchor her through every challenge.

This interview is raw, insightful, and full of heart — a testament to strength, self-advocacy and solo motherhood in the real world.

If you’ve ever wondered which books are the best tools to help your donor-conceived child understand their story, this episode is a goldmine. Alisha is joined by Micah and Fiona from DCP Hub, two solo mums by choice who have built a powerful resource for families navigating donor conception.

Together they share their favourite books across every age group — from baby board books to primary and teen reads — and explain why stories are one of the most effective ways to start, deepen and normalise donor conception conversations at home. You’ll also hear personal reflections, tips for adapting books to your family, and even some adorable guest reviews from their children.

Whether you’re just starting your solo mum journey or supporting older kids who are forming their own identity, this episode is full of practical, thoughtful recommendations

When Sammy’s marriage ended while her daughter was still a toddler, she grieved the future she thought she’d have. But she also knew, deep down, that she still wanted to grow her family — even if that meant doing it alone. In this heartfelt episode, Sammy shares how she moved from heartbreak to empowered action, navigating donor selection, finances, co-parenting, and ultimately conceiving her second daughter, Betty, on her very first IUI.

Her joy is infectious. Her vulnerability, grounding. And her story is a powerful reminder that happy endings can look different — and still be everything you dreamed of.

From “I did it on my own” to “I’m doing it again” — this episode brings back two of our previous guests to share where their journeys have unfolded since you last heard from them.

In this episode, Alisha checks back in with Hayley (Season 1) and Maegan (Season 2) — two women who have already taken the leap into solo motherhood… and now return with major updates.

Hayley shares how becoming a solo mum radically shifted her self-belief — and how that shift led her to welcome a second baby on her own. She also opens up about connecting with her children’s donor siblings and what that unfolding has been like for her family.

Maegan returns with her own big news — she’s now pregnant. She talks about what it felt like to start this again, how different this round has been emotionally, and how she’s approaching this pregnancy from a place of deeper confidence and grounded trust in herself.

Their stories are a reminder that this path doesn’t end with “you had the baby.”
For so many solo mums — that’s where the next chapter begins.

From heartbreak to IVF to identical twin boys — Rochelle shares how she found her power and joy doing this solo.

In this inspiring episode, Alisha chats with Rochelle — a solo mum who went from quietly grieving the “traditional family” she once imagined… to owning her choice and becoming a proud solo mother of identical twins.

At 37, Rochelle booked her first fertility specialist appointment — and everything changed. She went from “I wish I had someone to do this with” to “I’m actually choosing this.” She found her donor through Seattle Sperm Bank, conceived on her first embryo transfer… and at the dating scan discovered she wasn’t having one baby — but two.

From the shock of hearing “I can see two heartbeats” to navigating an MCDA twin pregnancy, early hospital monitoring, a planned C-section at 36+1, and the wildness of feeding two newborns solo — Rochelle has built a family that feels not just possible, but magical.

Rochelle’s story is a reminder that choosing solo motherhood isn’t last-choice energy — it can be the most joyful, fun, self-expanding decision you ever make.

In this inspiring episode, Alisha chats with Jessica, a proud solo mum who shares her powerful story of courage, resilience, and self-belief. At just 30, Jessica decided she wasn’t waiting any longer for “the right person” to build her family — and began her IVF journey that would lead to her beautiful son, August.

From choosing her donor and facing a high-risk pregnancy, to surviving severe morning sickness, preeclampsia, and sleepless newborn nights, Jessica opens up about every part of her journey with raw honesty and humour. With the unwavering support of her sister, family, and newfound solo mum village in Newcastle, she’s created a beautiful life filled with love, laughter, and deep pride in what she’s achieved.

Jessica’s story is a reminder that solo motherhood isn’t a backup plan — it’s a bold, empowering choice. Her message? You’re not failing by doing it alone — you’re leading the way.

In this heartfelt episode, Alisha chats with Verity, a solo mum who shares her powerful story of resilience, self-trust, and love. Once told she’d never carry a baby, Verity began her solo motherhood journey at 37 after setting herself a deadline—and ended up with her beautiful son, Leo.

Together they’ve faced huge highs and lows: a diagnosis of autism and anxiety, homeschooling, perimenopause, and caring for Verity’s mum with dementia—all while building a joyful, adventurous life filled with travel, laughter, and chicken nuggets.

Verity opens up about finding her donor through Monash IVF, establishing contact with him and Leo’s donor siblings, and why solo motherhood has filled a lifelong void she once thought only a partner could. Her message is clear—trust your gut, take the leap, and you’ll never regret it.

In this powerful episode, Alisha speaks with journalist Hannah, whose groundbreaking article has sparked national discussion about how Australia’s Family Law Act continues to discriminate against solo parents. Together, they unpack how the law’s outdated wording leaves single mothers by choice legally vulnerable—and why reform is urgently needed.

They also celebrate the launch of International Solo Mothers and Parents by Choice Day (ISMBCD) on 17 November, a global initiative led by Australian solo mums to recognise and celebrate diverse family structures.

When you’re considering or embarking on solo motherhood, the science and medical jargon can feel overwhelming. In this bonus episode, Alisha speaks with Mona from DNA Down Under, a genetic counsellor who helps women simplify the science, understand their options, and make informed choices.

Grief isn’t always about death — it can be the invisible companion on the journey to solo motherhood. From letting go of the dream of a partner, to infertility, failed cycles, miscarriages, or even navigating life as childless not by choice, grief can show up in surprising and complex ways.

In this empowering bonus episode, I sit down with Judi — a certified grief coach and practitioner — to unpack the many layers of grief that women face on the path to (or through) solo motherhood.